Please repost with FULL credit, kamsahamnida!
As we know, Saengie’s story wasn’t aired during the broadcast of Strong Heart. Fans who went for the recording recorded his part and someone typed it out in Madeleine (http://heoyoungsaeng.ivyro.net/).
This is the past sad story of Young Saeng which was cut out in Strong Heart.
When I was still a trainee, at 18 years old. It was just my adolescent period.
Everyday was between home and the practice studio…. It was so that I don’t even have time to play with my friends…
It was my first time to Seoul… so it was the time when I needed to make friends but I had no time to get closer to them.
And so one day I went into the rebellious period.
There’s one day I didn’t go to school. When the company found out about that, they would sack me. (Note: I think these companies want their trainees to continue their studies, so they have to continue to go to classes otherwise they don’t get to train in their company.)
But frankly speaking, my thoughts at that point of time is I came all alone to Seoul to be a singer, however in my current state, will I still able to be a singer?
So for the 1st time, I was in a state to give up everything. And my mother was living in the other province too. If only she was doing any better.. well, I really don’t want to put out my hand (to ask for money).
The money for lodging… High school fees? Because it costs a lot originally…
Mainly that I didn’t have time to eat. So I thought of just starving for a day, and I lived through then.
I slept a lot in a day. So that I don’t have to eat… slept a lot… I bought one cheapest instant noodle and poured this~~much water… shared with my friend, the two of us…
It was really serious. Why do I have to live like this.. It was really difficult.
I felt very sorry towards my mum, I am very sorry to be going down again.. Therefore, I couldn’t say anything. Words like ‘I am tired’…
When I was chatting with a friend…
Coincidentally we were talking about Han River. Things like falling into Han River (commit suicide I guess)… A lot of such stuffs were published on news..
So when my friend and I were talking about Han River, we have the thought of wanting to jump naturally when we see Han River.
And so just in our casual chatting.. I told my friend.
“Ya, let’s go out.” “To where?” “Han River.”
Just like that. No, well, I just wanted to see Han River for once.
However we were not familiar in Seoul. We didn’t know the bridges, the large bridges nor do we know where Han River is. Therefore, we took a cab as soon as we went out.
“Where are you going?” uh.. we don’t know what to say.
What’s the reason for us to go Han River when we don’t even know the way there..
Actually because we didn’t go with a good mind… at the moment I told my friend, if what you said were real..
If really, in case I wanted to jump down. Please stop me..
But my friend just got into the cab and told the cab driver to stop at the middle of the Han River Bridge..Like this..
Of course the cab driver felt strange. “Why do you want to go!” “Just go please..”
And so he asked which bridge we want to go. And we didn’t have the vaguest idea about that. Both of us were from the countryside/rural area..
Because we don’t know anything so we just told him to go to the bridge which is nearest to us and drop us in the middle of the bridge.
The cab driver felt really strange but still went to the place. We just went like that.
But the cab driver suddenly remembered something. He said “hey, did you say.. you wanted to go to HanGang GoSuBuJi (Han River Terrance, so it means it’s the riverside, not the bridge that they may jump off from)?”
But we don’t live in Seoul, how would we know. “Ah! Yes Yes! There!!”
“Ah~ So that’s where you wanted to go~” he said and suddenly made a U-turn and drove towards the location.
After that when we reached the place, he told us this is HanGang GoSuBuJi.
However, we felt strange that we can’t see the river. And when we look around, there was a park.
I asked my friend “Friend, Did you actually know this place so you asked the driver to come here?”
He said he saw it in the television before. He remembered this place and thought it was Han River, but it was actually Han River Park.
Initially, we went with a wrong mindset.. Ultimately when we reach Han River, we don’t hold that thought anymore.
Although it was really difficult, I chatted a lot with my friend and straightened out a lot of stuffs , we decided to work harder once again..
More than anything, when we look around, there are kids there. Restaurants..that seems very expensive.
My friend and I promised that we must succeed in the future.. wearing really nice clothes.. when we really succeed, we will go and eat there.
That is the place where we made that promise and every time when we met with difficulties, I would go over there with my friend and look at Han River which we can really find peace in.
[Kang Ho Dong] Well, I think in any case, you should thank the cab driver. Why so is because that cab driver must had sensed something wrong. I think that maybe since you were not familiar with Seoul, didn’t drive you to that place.
[Heo Young Saeng] He doesn’t seem like he is running away in fear.
[Kang Ho Dong] Isn’t it good memories because you experience the road
[Heo Young Saeng] There’s something I really must and want to say. I suffered a lot at that time, but thereafter I put in a lot of efforts to bring myself back. However I couldn’t accomplish anything. But there is this one thing that I will never forget before I became SS501, that is I never give up my dream.
Let’s do it once again. So there is a reason for me to come to Seoul! Let’s do well. Make a promise once again, do not lose the dream.
I didn’t have anything to do. I wasn’t a trainee, I don’t have anything, nothing, really..
Friends from my hometown asked “Why haven’t you debut yet”. Every time I got asked, I don’t know what to say..
Every time that happens, I will always ask “When will I debut”. Without a reason…~!
(the conversation after this can’t be heard clearly -_-;;)